There are many challenges with learning to let go of your adult children. One that I have come to recognize readily but not handle well is balancing their need for freedom with your need for control. Now, I'd like to think that I'm not a TOTAL control freak but there are certain standards that I like to live by. I like to have my house fairly picked up and ready for company, if not completely like a model home. I like to have a clean kitchen and clean bathrooms. I definitely like for people to pick up after themselves and to put away any messes they make while preparing food/drink.
My kids, on the other hand, have less strict standards. And now they pay rent (at least the older two do). So, they feel that they should have a right to decide when they want to clean up stuff and not have to do "chores", which they were required to do pre-rent. They feel that their rent has kind of purchased them out of a lot of the stuff they had to do before. I am trying to be understanding of this so we have negotiated something that I feel is doable.
They all use the same bathroom...one that I don't. Therefore, my husband and I thought it only fair that they should be responsible for keeping it up. We figured out that each one of them would be responsible for cleaning it one week a month. There are three of them, so it would be cleaned 3 out of 4 weeks every month. Not bad really and my contention is that if it's being cleaned that often, it should be a quick job for them. They felt this was fair. However, we've come to find that, without reminding or nagging, it isn't happening. I don't want to nag...really, I don't.
However, I don't want a complete pigsty of a bathroom either. What to do, what to do?
Same holds true of when they do laundry or make a meal...if I don't tell them to pick it up and put it away or clean up after themselves, then it just stays hanging around in the kitchen or family room indefinitely. I have tested this out. After 3-4 days, I cannot stand it anymore and finally say something...and my attitude probably really sucks when I do. Ugh. This can't be productive.
I wonder how I can save my sanity, get them to do what they've agreed to do and not have to nag anymore. I have tried the "family meeting"...not the answer. Any suggestions out there?
lol! What did you just jump into my head and my life? As for the bathroom thing I finally let my daughter and Son split it instead of doing the whole bathroom-Now my daughter who is keeping her side nice and clean nags at my son to do his side-She finally gets my frustration and my Son I think would rather hear me nag than having his little sis constantly nag him (she has way more energy then me)Anyway for some reason knock on wood that's working. You could always post disgusting google pics of diseases that occur when living in mold all over the bathroom- Just a thought!
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